So, I had to code a program using bigrams to generate sentences based on two very different corpora (wsj and shakespeare). I coded it up yesterday afternoon and evening. It took about 2 hours (aside from discussing data structures with Alex - I got to use the collections.defaultdict for the first time.) I sent it, and then suddenly panicked. What if I misunderstood the assignment? I do that sort of thing pretty often (particularly in this class, for some reason). What worried me was, it was so easy to code. I must be doing something wrong. I had actually done it okay. I just had trouble *believing* that I'd done it right.
I run into this regularly - if it's hard, I worry I won't be able to do it at all, or that I'll need too much help from Alex; if it's easy, I worry I did it wrong. It couldn't possibly be that I'm finally getting enough practice and experience coding to be able to do easy things reasonably easily... could it? Nah. That would require me to admit that maybe I do know some programming after all. And, as I've repeatedly stated, "I'm not a programmer; I just use python to get things done."
I'm beginning to think I may have to change that motto. I am not a professional programmer. But, I do program. So, does that make me "a programmer"? I'll have to let that one percolate for a while...
Showing posts with label fears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fears. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Creative living
There's a class being offered on campus thru the transfers program I guess. It's called "The Art of Living Creatively" or something like that. It's about paying attention to your own creativity and learning to foster your creativity.
This is, I think, great timing. I recently declared my major concentration: HCI, and one of my biggest fears is whether I'll be up to the challenge. I'm dealing with "imposter syndrome" - I am starting to maybe believe I can program a little bit. At least sufficiently to do the homework we've had so far. But, beyond that, I'm worried that I'm just not creative enough for a job in HCI. After all, one can learn all the rules, but still not be an artist. I believe I have enough background and am able to learn how to recognize "when it's bad", but that doesn't mean I'll be able to do it right myself. I'm afraid that it may be as much visual art as it is science, and I'm not sure I'm able to do that.
So yes, learning that I *do* have creativity, and knowing I can tap into it, will be quite useful as I proceed upon this path.
This is, I think, great timing. I recently declared my major concentration: HCI, and one of my biggest fears is whether I'll be up to the challenge. I'm dealing with "imposter syndrome" - I am starting to maybe believe I can program a little bit. At least sufficiently to do the homework we've had so far. But, beyond that, I'm worried that I'm just not creative enough for a job in HCI. After all, one can learn all the rules, but still not be an artist. I believe I have enough background and am able to learn how to recognize "when it's bad", but that doesn't mean I'll be able to do it right myself. I'm afraid that it may be as much visual art as it is science, and I'm not sure I'm able to do that.
So yes, learning that I *do* have creativity, and knowing I can tap into it, will be quite useful as I proceed upon this path.
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